Bye, Bye, Bye!

Internet dating may be the way of the future - but it isn't my way to find my prince. In spite of my unique introduction to Frogs.com and the subsequent lies I published on my profile in an effort to become more attractive to members of the opposite sex - which should have been a pretty clear warning sign that things would end poorly - I gave Frogs.com a chance to show me that one could find a suitable match online. And what the learning experience it was!

In my 75 days as a Frogs.com subscriber, I was rejected by 634 frogs, based on nothing more than my photo and a few bullet points about me. I rejected 312 frogs myself using a similarly shallow selection process. I communicated with four frogs and I went out on dates with three of them. Two of them even made it past the first date. While you might think I'm holding out for the fairy tale ending, I'm pretty realistic. I never expected an internet frog to sweep me off my feet - but I did hope to find someone I could laugh with, be comfortable around, and have some fun with. No dice.

The combination of an ugly confrontation with Mr. Wrong and the naked obsession of Frog #5 led me to reconsider my dating strategy. Actually, if I'm honest, this combination actually led me to consider joining a convent once and for all. And, if I do become "Sister Princess", I obviously won't need to find a prince, so while the convent remains an option, I decided to say, "Sayonara" to Frogs.com.

The sneaky sales & marketing folks at Frogs.com don't want you to cancel your membership. It took me nearly 30 minutes to figure out how to divorce myself from Frogs.com permanently. And before I was allowed to regain my dignity and move on with my life, the wise folks at Frogs.com wanted to share the following with me:
"If you are closing your account because you've met a special person to share your life, on Frogs.com or elsewhere, congratulations. If you haven't yet made that connection, I'd like you to consider the following points:

* Research shows only 1 in 4 American marriages are actually happy.
* Choosing the right mate is the KEY to creating a compatible, loving relationship
* Finding a soul mate on your own and knowing if you're really compatible has never been more confusing or difficult
* Frogs.com's proven method of selecting compatible matches has helped create thousands of happy, successful relationships."


Now, let me ask you this. What exactly is the point of telling me that 3 of 4 American marriages are miserable? Should I be considering adultery as a dating strategy by targeting the unhappy marrieds and luring them into dates? Should I renounce my citizenship and become Canadian? Are their stats any better? If the whole premise of a site like Frogs.com is to help me find a mate, why share this disturbing statistic? Because what I'm seeing now is that by continuing to subscribe to Frogs.com, the best I can hope for is to find a mate so that we can spend the rest of our lives making each other unhappy. And the worst I can hope for is to become some kind of homewrecker. I choose . . . none of the above.

Chalk it up to a learning experience and file away under "what doesn't kill me makes me stronger." This princess is taking a little break from kissing frogs . . . for now. That way, when Valentine's Day comes and goes with nary a flower, card, or hunk of chocolate from a handsome frog admirer, I can pretend that it's no big deal. After all, I chose this. And so, in the infamous and catchy words of those adorable boy-band members from NSync, "Bye, bye, bye" Frogs.com!

© 2010 Princess D