Now that my life has become more than merely a series of horrendously bad first, second, and third dates, I've been spending my free time doing all the normal stuff that people in relationships do . . . watching DVDs, eating pizza, hanging out, talking, and all that jazz. And let me be clear. I've never been happier in my life. However, there appears to be a negative correlation between my ability to write humorous blog entries and my increased happiness. And for that, dear readers, I apologize.
If you're just catching up on the antics of our heroine, I'll bring you up to speed. In August, I kissed a frog who magically transformed into a prince. Of course, being skeptical and somewhat of a connoisseur in the frogs gone wrong category, I was hesitant to cue the celebratory parade right away. But I'm not going to lie to you – your princess has finally met her match, so last night, when the prince handed a big sparkly (and yes, princess cut!) diamond ring to me, I said yes and promptly went into shock.
Even while in shock, I knew there were a few phone calls I had to make – to my parents and a few other "bffs" out there. And that, dear readers, is where things get entertaining. Indulge me for a moment while I replay some of the highlights for you.
Highlight #1: Call to my mom & dad
Me: "Hi, sorry to call so late. But I wanted to tell you I just got a diamond ring from the man!"
Mom: "That's nice. What does that mean?"
Me, in exasperated tone of voice: "Isn't it obvious? He quit his day job and is moving to Africa to harvest blood diamonds!"
Mom: "Ha ha ha. Congratulations!" Muffled sounds of my dad talking over me in the background. "Hold on a second, honey . . . Dad, Princess is engaged!"
Dad: "To who?" Followed by muffled sounds between Mom and Dad. Unsure of the nature of this dialogue.
Me: "Is it any wonder I have spent the GDP of a small country in therapy bills?"
Mom: "Well, this is just wonderful. When's the big day?"
Me: "Mom, I've had the ring on for all of 35 seconds. I haven't planned the blessed event yet. But I promise, you'll be invited."
Mom: "Ha, ha. I just woke up. Be nice."
Highlight #2: Call FROM my mom & dad, approximately five minutes after hanging up from the first call
Me: "Hello?"
Mom: "Your dad . . ."
Me: "Huh?"
Mom: "Your dad had a premonition this would happen."
Me: "Really? Then why did he ask 'to who' earlier?"
Mom: "You know he thinks he's funny. How cute is this premonition?"
Highlight #3: Call from The Snake
Me: "Snake, I'm engaged!"
Snake: "Will you be showing for the wedding? And also, make sure you get a prenup."
Me: "What is the matter with you?"
Snake: "I'm kidding! Congratulations! But seriously . . . are you pregnant or something? And when's the big day?"
Highlight #4: Overheard during call to the Man's parents
Man: "Well, I did it!"
Man's Dad: "So . . . did she accept?"
Man: "Why else would I be calling you?"
Man's Dad: "So – when's the big day?"
Highlight #5: Call to one of my BFF's
Me: "Did you see the text I sent you?"
BFF: "I sure did. Beautiful. But the heat is out at my house. Can you guys come fix it?"
Me: "On the way."
[20 minutes later when we arrive . . . ]
BFF: "Oh, snap! This means you're engaged! I just thought you had a new ring!"
I am confident that this is just the beginning of a series of entertaining and awkward discussions, and I look forward to all of them. My fairytale is coming true! Does this mean I'll stop blogging? Sorry, folks – but the blog shall continue, however, it may require a new name since I'm officially resigning as Princess of Frog Kissing. I am soliciting recommendations for a new blog name to celebrate this new chapter. And in other news . . . HOLY SHIT! My fairytale is coming true!
© 2011 Princess D
